


Before the Sun Comes up

by ExplosiveRanga



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Alcohol, Angst, Breakup, Cunnilingus, Episode: s04e05 Divide and Conquer, F/F, Pining, Smut, mention of Sam/Jack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-10
Updated: 2020-11-10
Packaged: 2021-03-09 04:14:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,336
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27488671
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ExplosiveRanga/pseuds/ExplosiveRanga
Summary: Post Divide and Conquer. Sam and Janet need to talk following the events of Divide and Conquer. What did this revelation about Sam and Jack's feeling mean for the lovers relationship. Sam/Janet established.
Relationships: Samantha "Sam" Carter/Jack O'Neill, Samantha "Sam" Carter/Janet Fraiser
Comments: 4
Kudos: 17





	Before the Sun Comes up

“Janet, we need to talk.”  
She was on her way out of the base, ready to go home and drown herself in a bottle of Shiraz. Or whiskey. She’d just finished changing out of her uniform when Sam entered the locker room, looking tired, eyes puffy from crying no doubt. Martouf had been killed by her hand. It had been unavoidable but Janet didn’t blame her for feeling guilty. The doctor paused for a moment as she grabbed her handbag, unable to meet Sam’s eyes.  
“Yeah, we do,” she agreed, finally looking up at the taller woman. Sam was close to her but still an arms length away, hands clenched by her side. She looked lost and Janet exhaled, closing her eyes for a moment. “Do you want to get drinks?”  
“Hell yeah,” Sam replied, voice shaking.

Cassie was still staying with Janet’s mom, a usual occurrence when she got caught up at work for days on end, so the house was empty and dark when Janet unlocked the front door. Neither woman spoke as they turned on the lights and fetched the wine and glasses from the cabinet. Their bodies moved effortlessly around each other but this time, there were no coy smiles or quick cuddles from behind as Janet reached for the glassware. Sam didn’t even try to break the silence with a nervous joke.  
Finally settled on the couch, Janet with her feet tucked beneath herself and Sam in the arm chair, clutching her wine with a death grip; they were suddenly strangers again.  
“I don’t blame you,” Janet began after the longest moment, having taken a big gulp of the crimson liquid. Blue eyes shot up and this time it was Janet's turn to grip the glass, ignoring the butterflies that sprouted in her stomach. “I’ve known for the longest time, I just didn’t want to think about it.”  
“I’m sorry,” Sam breathed.  
“No. No, honey, don’t do that.” She resisted the urge to reach over and hold Sam’s shaking hands, opting instead to take another sip of wine. “You’ve got too many people to apologise to...” she hesitated, promising herself she wouldn’t cry. “Don’t apologise to me.”  
“You’re the only person I care about apologising to. And I should. Apologise. I knew how I felt about the Colonel...I shouldn’t have dragged you into this.”  
Janet couldn’t bring herself to respond to that and the silence fell over them once again, thick and uncomfortable and Sam reached for the bottle.  
“Where do we go from here?”  
“I don’t know.” Janet sighed sharply. “I care about you but I can’t be Jack’s replacement.”  
“You’re not. You’re more than that to me.”  
“Maybe, but I’ll never be what I wish I was… what he is.”  
There can never be anything between him and I… You know that. He’s my boss. The regs…”  
“That doesn’t mean you don’t want there to be something between you. There shouldn’t even be anything between you and I…”  
“I’m sorry…”  
“Me too.”  
Janet got to her feet then, disappearing into the kitchen. She pressed herself to the fridge when she was out of sight and let herself sag for a moment. Her eyes stung and she pressed her palms into them, taking deep breaths to steady herself. When she returned to the living room, Sam was hugging her knees, watching sadly.  
“Bourbon.” The smaller woman poured them both a generous glass. They drank quietly. “I’m sorry about Martouf.”  
“Yeah… At least it was me that did it.”  
“That doesn’t make it any better. I’m sorry it had to end like that.”  
Sam threw back her drink and slammed her tumbler to the table; as Janet looked over, she saw that she was crying. WIthout hesitation, Janet moved over to her, pulling the taller woman to her chest. The blonde clung onto her, a tidal wave of emotions coursing through them both, Janet’s chest tight with anguish for Sam and what could have been, what could never be and what had been, even just for a short time.

A bottle of bourbon and many hours later, Sam stumbled to her feet, cheeks flushed, bleary eyed. Janet watched her with quiet concentration.  
“I...I should go. Can I borrow your phone? For a cab.”  
“Just stay. Stay the night…” Sam frowned a little. “I can pull out the couch or… Cassie’s bed… but you should stay here. Doctor’s orders.” Not that her word meant much right now, she reminded herself, her head fuzzy from the alcohol.  
Surprisingly, Sam complied without argument and Janet held out her hands. The woman helped her to her feet and the pair stumbled. Janet lost her footing but Sam was there to catch her, holding the smaller frame to her chest. Her touch felt electric and Janet whimpered, closing her eyes. Without a shared thought between them, Sam pressed their lips together, hands gripping Janet’s waist desperately.  
Janet liked to think that had she been sober, she would have stopped herself, had some level of self control. Instead, she pushed her hands under Sam’s tshirt, aching for more touch. The blonde pushed her lover against the wall, their mouths moving together in a familiar dance, teasing and coaxing in the secret ways that only they knew. They wrestled with clothes, leaving a trail behind them as they fumbled down the hall towards the bedroom, each touch more intoxicating than the last.  
Finally free of her clothes, Janet fell back onto the bed, legs spread, chest heaving with desire, her coffee coloured nipples standing at attention. Sam took a moment, standing between her feet, to watch the smaller woman, watching her hand disappear between her thighs. At the first semblance of a moan, Sam rushed forward, falling to her knees as she pressed her nose and mouth into Janet’s sex, hooking her hands around her thighs and pulling her closer to get better access.  
One of Janet’s hands found the blonde’s hair, the other grasping at her own breast, teasing the engorged nubs with her fingertips as she moaned, arching into Sam’s expert mouth. Every nerve in her body was thrumming with desire and behind the alcoholic fog, Janet knew this was wrong but when Sam’s fingers slid into her wet heat, all thought escaped her and she succumbed to the ecstasy. They moved together with a practiced ease; Sam knew every spot, every gasp by heart.  
For just a moment, Janet could forget about Sam and the Colonel, could forget her worries that she wasn’t enough, that she’d never be the one for her.  
All that was left was her and Sam and it was blissful. She could feel the warmth wash over her, the energy ebbing and flowing within her like a whirlpool and she rode the waves, shivering as her nerves exploded with euphoria. But just like that, it was over. That’s all it was, a brief moment; nothing more than a taste of the forbidden fruit, supposed to quench her thirst but instead, she longed even more for the woman and the life she couldn’t have.  
Suddenly, Janet could see through the haze of bourbon and endorphins and she knew, realistically, that this couldn’t happen. There was nothing she could do that would fix this, that would make Sam hers but that didn’t mean she didn’t want to pretend, even if it was just for the night. Even still, there was a small part of her, a tiny, naive voice, that hoped that Sam would choose her.  
No matter what the outcome, Janet decided that if this were to be their last night together, she’d make it a night to remember.

It didn’t take much for Sam to come around Janet’s fingers, their mouths moving sloppily against each other, drinking in each other's moans. The woman was a quivering mess beneath her and Janet could only pretend, for a moment, that it was her on Sam’s mind.  
When she woke in the morning, head pounding and chest aching, Sam was already gone.


End file.
